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ROGD Repair
Orientation for New Students
(PUBLIC PREVIEW) Introducing ROGD Repair: a New, Game-Changing Resource for Concerned Parents of Trans-Identified Youth (75:58)
Why join ROGD Repair? The value of a proactive approach (Public Preview) (14:14)
ENROLLED STUDENTS START HERE: Welcome & Orientation (please do not skip) (11:46)
Disclaimer, Privacy Policy & Copyright
How This Course Came To Be (34:08)
Philosophy and Approach (14:09)
Before We Go On: Let's Take Privacy Seriously
NEW! Guided Meditations
Introduction to Guided Meditations
Finding Your Ground: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #1
The Long Game: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #2
The Peaceful Warrior: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #3
After the Storm: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #4
First: Let's Address Your Fears About Suicide & Self-Harm
Introduction to this section
Addressing Suicide Risk Responsibly (24:03)
Make Sure Self-Injury is Against the Rules in Your Home (3:27)
General Attitudes, Habits & Mindset Shifts to Adopt as You Go Through This Course
Introduction to General Attitudes, Habits & Mindset Shifts (2:19)
Give Up Wishful Thinking; This Won't Go Away On Its Own (4:11)
Realign with Your Core Values to Find Strength & Guidance (3:04)
Marathon Mindset: Being In It For the Long Haul (2:14)
The Importance of Slowing Down; Attuning to Recognize Opportunities (2:13)
Lifestyle Changes: A Brief Overview of Adjustments to Make (7:48)
Adopt a Posture of Non-Defensiveness to Soothe, De-Escalate, and Model Healthy Interactions (3:38)
Carry Yourself with Dignity Through Assertive Self-Respect (0:41)
Remember You Are the Adult (2:26)
Think Symbolically; Find Helpful Analogies (6:53)
Take the Next Step in the Dance (5:22)
Be Willing to Self-Reflect on Blind Spots and Shadows (2:29)
Model and Reflect on Matters of Grace and Forgiveness (5:53)
Stop Desperately Attempting to Persuade (2:55)
Refrain from Bribing, Bargaining & Coercing (6:48)
Avoid Long, Unreciprocated Texts and Emails (1:52)
Stop Losing Control of Your Emotions and Behavior (3:25)
Be Wary of Trusting the Wrong People & Making Yourself a Target (4:38)
When it Comes to Faith: Show, Don't Tell (2:40)
Embrace Nuance to Allow for Hope (2:41)
Don't Over-Give, Enable Bad Behavior, or Tolerate Abuse (3:59)
Get Your Priorities Straight (4:21)
Be Circumspect With Regard to Your Own Activism (5:30)
Assess Your Leverage & Tailor Interventions Accordingly (9:05)
Quick Interlude to Check In
How's the Course So Far?
Working with Stephanie 1:1 — everything you need to know
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The Trifecta of Social Contagion
Introduction to the Trifecta (0:22)
Introduction to Woke Beliefs About Social Justice (17:55)
Mapping Your Child: The Trifecta + What = Perfect Storm? (5:31)
Relevant Psychological Concepts Affecting Your Family
Introduction to Psychological Concepts Section (0:43)
Double Binds: When You're Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place (4:47)
Neuroplasticity, Addiction, and Obsessive-Compulsive Patterns (15:02)
Is Gender Dysphoria Ego-Syntonic or Ego-Dystonic? (7:58)
Cognitive Dissonance: Conflicting Beliefs Pervade Gender Ideology (11:57)
Secondary Gain: the Hidden Benefits of Suffering (4:10)
Adopting the Language of Parts (4:18)
The Sunk Cost Fallacy: Why We Continue When Our Behaviors Don't Pay Off (6:38)
The Hot-Cold Empathy Gap: Why We're Terrible at Predicting Our Future Responses (7:53)
Identity, Confidence, and Competence: the Crux of What Your Child Truly Needs (5:40)
The Default Mode Network vs. Task Positive Network; Impacts on Depression & Anxiety (7:15)
The Paradox of Choice: The Illusion that More Options = More Happiness (7:49)
Psychological Differentiation: An Often Missing Skill in Immature Youth (7:55)
Extinction Bursts vs. Intermittent Rewards in Behavioral Psychology (3:03)
Dissociation: Your Child's Mind-Body Disconnect (13:13)
Code-Switching: How We Navigate Different Social Environments (9:24)
Preference Falsification, The Emperor's New Clothes, and Drag Queens (9:15)
Hypersensitivity to Embarrassment & Scrutiny in Adolescents & Young Adults (20:29)
Twice-Exceptional Youth & the Lopsided Brain; Scaffolding Skills in Autistic Youth (25:04)
Empathy vs. Theory of Mind, featuring: Mentalizing (14:25)
One More Warning About Trusting Unverified Professionals (3:58)
Your Kid's Vulnerability Hangover (2:52)
Moral Foundations Theory & Nonviolent Communication (17:08)
Social and Identity Capital; "Party Tricks" as Building Blocks (28:09)
Understanding & Dealing with Cluster B Personality Disorder Type Traits & Behaviors
Cluster B Personality Traits & Behaviors: A Brief Introduction & Overview (7:42)
Get Out of the F.O.G. of Emotional Blackmail (10:52)
Grandiosity: A Feature of Narcissism, or Just Immaturity? (5:00)
Projection: When Your Child's Emotions are Now Yours (8:28)
Depressed/Depleted Narcissism: Woe Is Me (6:51)
The Drama Triangle: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer (3:44)
A Funhouse Mirror Warning: When Both Sides Point the Narcissist Finger (3:32)
Entitlement, Resentment, "Narcissist Math" & the Woke Robinhood Mentality (28:33)
Communication 101: Asserting Boundaries
Introduction to this section
Boundaries and Consequences: An Overview (8:53)
Healthy Boundaries & Consequences, the Customer Service Attitude, & Being Life's Messenger (12:31)
Distinguish Between Your Boundaries and Your Opinions (6:13)
Front-Load Disappointing News to Reduce Anxiety (2:28)
Set Boundaries Using the Broken Record Technique (7:52)
Strategic Apologizing: A Helpful Tool for Delivering Hard News (5:42)
Absorb the Blows Preemptively: Conduct an Accusation Audit (10:56)
Playful Assertion to Protect the Quality of Interactions (3:56)
Financial Boundaries 1: Redirecting Savings for Future Medical Needs (9:06)
Communication 102: Effective Strategies and Approaches
Introduction to Communication Strategies Section (1:15)
Introduction to Strategic Thinking: Beginning with the End in Mind (7:28)
Nonverbal Communication and Your Nervous System (11:46)
Restoring Natural Spontaneity to Communication (1:46)
Working With the Ego: Alter-Casting + Playing Dumb (16:26)
Reflective Listening & Empathic Guesses: Therapeutic Communication to Reduce Defensiveness (4:30)
Curiosity Without Agreement; Reflective Listening with Differentiation (2:31)
Changing the Pattern: When All You Can Control is Your Own Predictability (10:54)
Dropping Defensiveness, Fessing Up: "You Caught Me" (2:56)
Resist the Urge to Over-Share; Make Them Ask for Information Instead (2:44)
Make "NO" Work for You: Use No-Oriented Questions (3:26)
Pose Moral Dilemmas and Invite Critical Thinking (7:58)
Near-Future Pain and Embarrassment Are More Palpable to Teens Than Long Term Problems (6:14)
Use Accurate Language; Avoid Cliches (2:15)
Leave Reading Material Lying Around So Kids Can Peruse Un-Self-Consciously (2:49)
Use "What" and "How" Questions, Rather Than "Why" (2:25)
Emphasize Near-Term Pain and Embarrassment Over Long Term Medical Consequences (4:53)
De-Personalize It: Invite Opinions on What Others Should Do (4:21)
Playfulness & Self-Effacing Humor (6:36)
Set Aside Talk of Detransitioners; Express Concern for Trans People Instead (3:49)
A Different Way to Speak About Detransitioners (5:59)
Say "You're Right" Early and Often (2:35)
Statements to Buy Yourself Time + Circle Back (13:55)
A Strategy for Handling Projection: Inverting "The Work" of Byron Katie (18:25)
Female-Specific Issues
Your Daughter's Menstrual Cycle: Every Phase & Why It Matters (51:19)
Menopause, Menarche, and Female Role Models (16:42)
Male-Specific Issues
Aggression in Males (16:12)
Autogynephilia as a Safety Blanket (18:37)
Pornography-Induced Gender Dysphoria: Sissy-Hypnosis Pornography, Autogynephilia, Porn Addiction, and Your Son (192:59)
Gaining Further Insight Into Your Child and What You Can Do
Introduction to Further Insights Section (0:26)
Detecting Hidden Signs of Ambivalence & Doubt (8:53)
What's in a Name? (4:36)
Bad Things Won't Happen to My Friends (6:13)
The Right Side of History (5:41)
Building Your Child's Healthy Self-Esteem (8:20)
Gameable Heuristics: When Mental Shortcuts Create Exploitable Loopholes (11:04)
Differences in Worldviews Between Youthful Progressives & Mature Moderates (18:06)
Secrets Policies and Parental/Familial Triangulation (13:37)
The Writing on the Wall: Threat of Estrangement; Getting Ahead vs. Behind Where They're Going (13:22)
Don't Burst Their Bubble; Try to Understand the Bubble (11:28)
Is There Hope? Ways of Orienting to Questions of Optimism, Effort, and Despair (25:15)
Comfort and Challenge: The Paradoxical Relationship (18:56)
Is "Gender-Nonconforming" Actually the Best Way to Describe Your Child? (5:56)
Inhibition vs. Disinhibition, Neuroplasticity & Flow States (23:20)
Dissociation vs. Embodiment, Featuring: Proprioception (18:58)
Time Horizons & Empathy for Our Future Self (17:48)
Holistic Therapeutics: Float Tanks & Hot/Cold Therapies (22:23)
Trump's Executive Orders: Applying the Tools to How You Communicate. Plus: Why Switch to Group Chats (34:55)
Implementing a Digital Sabbath & Drawing Your Kid Out of Their Room (24:39)
Conduct a Premortem: Learn to Prevent Your Worst-Case Scenario (6:12)
Natural communication has a back-and-forth, serve-and-return rhythm (2:34)
Ages and Stages: The Developmental Map Every ROGD Parent Needs (27:12)
Examining Myths Embedded in Gender Ideology
Trans Exceptionalism: The Myth of a Special Kind of Human (5:38)
The Myth of Mind-Body Separation (2:54)
The Myth That Trans People Definitely Won't Want Children (4:18)
Stories and Examples
Introduction to Stories and Examples
Desistance Story 1: Jared's Daughter Sally
Desistance Story 2: Carl and Ellen's Son Eric
Desistance Story 3: Alice's Son Ethan
Desistance Story 4: Liz's Daughter Kate (11-5-26)
UNPACKED: Bonus Articles with Concept Animation Videos — NEW in 2026! — NEWEST FIRST
Introduction to This Section (1:04)
Empathic Hyperbole: You Want Me To Get a Brain Transplant? (11-10-26) (9:50)
Feelings Without Names: Alexithymia in Gender-Distressed Youth (11-10-26) (8:30)
Emotional Honesty Over Argument (11-7-26) (8:46)
Taking the One-Down Position and Dropping the Rope in the Game of Tug-of-War (11-6-26) (8:26)
The Book on the Shelf: How to Stop Repeating Yourself Without Walking on Eggshells (11-6-26) (8:20)
Positive Reframing: Finding the Wish to Stay Connected (11-6-26) (9:53)
One Step Behind: When the Benefit of the Doubt Becomes a Pattern (11-1-26) (9:40)
Make It Backfire: Why Bad Behavior Has to Cost Before It Goes Extinct (11-1-26) (8:35)
Bidding High: What a Used Car Lot Teaches About Negotiating with Your Child (10-30-26) (10:03)
Catching Yourself Mid-Stream: Metacognition and the Parents Who Make Progress (10-28-26) (8:48)
The Toddler With the Candy Bin: The Smartphone You Handed Your Kid (10-27-26) (8:03)
Boundaries and Behavioral Outbursts with Strong-Willed Teens: Extinction Bursts Revisited (9:48)
The Longer Onramp: De-Escalating Rigid and Autistic Teens (10:15)
The Belief That Builds Its Own Cage: The Causal Chain of Consequence in Trans Ideation (7:34)
So, Your Kid Is Starting at a New School Next Week (8:39)
The Masc Mask (9:53)
Tumbled Smooth: How Character Is Actually Made (6:40)
A Request Is Not a Confession: Approaching Schools and Therapists Before the School Year Starts (8:30)
Steering Without Commanding: The If-Then Framework for Stubborn Teens (7:48)
The Package: What to Do When Your Child Arrives With Their Whole Case Already Made (8:29)
Two Houses, Two Worlds: Parenting Through a Gender-Divided Custody Arrangement (7:48)
Loose Threads: On the Doubts Your Child Voices Sideways, and What to Do When You Hear Them (4:12)
You Are Training the Wrong Muscle: On the Ways Well-Meaning Parents Accidentally Deepen the Belief They Are Trying to Loosen (9:22)
The Muscle Is Built in the Repair: On Why Relationships Strengthen Through Conflict, Not Around It (8:18)
Shock Absorbers: On Taking Blame Where You Can, and No Further (9:48)
The Toddler at the Steering Wheel: On the Developmental Paradox at the Heart of the Ideological Identity (8:09)
Motivational Interviewing for Parents: a Framework and Toolkit for Aiding Ambivalence (10:24)
Bonus Lessons: Article-Only (No Video); Newest First
“Do You Think I Chose This?”: How to Answer a Rigged Question (11-1-26)
Shifting the Burden of Proof (10-17-26)
The Seventeen-Year-Old Speaking for the Forty-Year-Old She Hasn't Met Yet
The Initiation That Did Not Happen: On the Grief of Mothering a Daughter Who Has Refused Her Womanhood
The Harsh Love of the Autistic Engineer Father
Greeting the Hostile Intruder: Who Am I Talking to Right Now?
The Bubble of Suspended Reality
Shoot Your Shot — But Don't Screw It Up: Tips for Estranged Parents and Tenuous Relationships (19:53)
Therapists: Guilty Until Proven Innocent? (3:58)
Disenfranchised Dad, ROGD Kid (24:34)
Creating Conditions for Desistance: A Parent's Guide to ROGD Recovery (37:56)
"Gender Identity" as a Shell: What the Alter Ego Does for Your Child & How to Help Them Desist (episode 217 of You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist podcast) (14:07)
Why Your Teen Thinks in Extremes — And What You Can Do About It (17:26)
Why ROGD Teens Tune Out Parents' Warnings — and the Alter-Casting Fix (32:57)
Life Paths and the Branching Tree
Why Your Child Can't "Just Stop Thinking About It": Understanding Neural Valleys and Gender Obsession (X) (0:09)
The Marriage Problem Nobody Talks About: Why Your Marital Conflict Is Fueling Your Child's Gender Ideology
Vagal Tone & Nervous System Regulation: Why Your Calmness (or Panic) Is More Powerful Than Your Words
The Affirmation Paradox: Why Your Child Resents Non-Affirmation While Losing Respect for Those Who Affirm
Getting Ahead of the Behavior: Why Staying Silent About What You See Is More Dangerous Than Speaking Up
Triangulation & Splitting: How Your Child Compartmentalizes Relationships to Avoid Integrating Reality (X) (7:37)
Naming the Aggression: Why Your Child's Hostility Matters and How It Differs Between Boys and Girls (X)
Moral Masochism & Learned Helplessness: Why Your Child Self-Sabotages and Gets Stuck in Victimhood (X) (7:00)
Power Dynamics: Why Your Child Shouldn't Be in Control and How to Reclaim Your Family's Emotional Leadership
Cluster B Personality Traits, Emotional Abuse & Power Play Dynamics in Adolescents
Father-Son Relationship Rupture & Repair: When Gender Dysphoria Masks the Real Problem
Understanding Identity Patterns in Gender-Questioning Youth: What Parents Are Observing
They're Listening (Even When It Seems Like They're Not)
Just Sit in the Room: Why Your Presence Matters More Than Your Instructions
She Doesn't Want to Be Trans—She Wants to Be a Boy: Understanding the Difference
When Hollywood Gets It Right: Strategic Apologizing and Boundary-Setting in Action (X) (1:56)
The Reality Principle: Why Meeting Gender Ideology Halfway Doesn't Work (X)
Triangulate the Cat: When Direct Connection Isn't Possible, Connect Through a Third Object (X)
Seen But Not Scrutinized: The Paradox Every Parent of a Teenager Needs to Understand (X)
The Load-Bearing Delusion: What Your Child's Trans Identity Is Protecting Them From (X/Substack)
Cognitive Dissonance as Magma: Why You Shouldn't Cause the Earthquake
College as a Crossroads: Strategic Thinking About the Most Dangerous Transition Point
When Your Sensitive Child Can't Sleep: A Practical Guide to Chronic Insomnia (X)
After the Self-Harm Scare: How to Stop Walking on Eggshells
Protecting the Sibling: How to Support a Younger Child When Their Older Sibling Has Transitioned
The Disenfranchised Dad: When a Father's Love Gets Lost in Translation (X)
Executive Functioning as a Doorway: How Practical Coaching Builds Connection and Confidence
Planting Seeds, Not Winning Arguments
The Rubber Duck Method: When Listening Is More Powerful Than Arguing
"You Take It to Mean That I Don't Respect You": The Language of Double Differentiation
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Your Daughter
When Helping Hurts: The Single Mom's Blind Spot in Raising Boys
When Self-Expression is Antithetical to the Goal: A Wake-Up Call
When Your Kid Says They Don't Intend to Medicalize (updated 10-31-26)
"Yes, And" — The Most Dangerous Moment in the Conversation
When "Nonbinary" Is the Door Out
Bonus Content from Maia Poet, Desister
Introduction: Meet Maia (57:20)
Closing Remarks
A List of Topics to Come
Closing Remarks & How to Cancel Your Membership When You're Ready to Leave (14:26)
The Scripts Library (NEW)
Introduction to the Scripts Library (READ FIRST)
The Last One Holding Out: with an adult daughter demanding mom use the new name everyone else has adopted
That Must Be So Painful: Disambiguating trust into pieces after an adult daughter’s meltdown
Perhaps Hanging Up Feels Better: Psychological aikido and positive reframing with an adult daughter who hangs up
I Can't Sign Off on Harming Yourself: Rewarding a teen’s negotiation efforts while refusing her terms
Why There's Still Sadness: Emotional honesty about the credit an adult daughter gives her new name
Part of You Believes You Can't Be Comforted: Warm confrontation of an alexithymic adolescent's teen’s nightly “I’m sad”
These Will Be Your Decisions: A strategic apology and plain terms for an autistic daughter’s lease
Pick a Lane: Naming the contradiction for a teen expecting parents to fund testosterone at 18
The Gift of Seeing Beauty: Offering an artistic adult daughter new vocabulary after finding her binder
My Baby Will Always Be Perfect: Declining an adult daughter’s new name with a statement, not a question
Where Would You Get Off the Train? Thinking out loud about “hormones, but no surgery”
Two Paths: Gay or Trans — Naming the fork in the road for a son who wants both
Coming Off Our Insurance: Double differentiation with an adult son
The Summer Reset: An Ambivalent Daughter's Invitation to Detransition
It Happened to a Female Body: Support at her pace after an adult daughter discloses an assault
Choosing a Therapist for a Young Adult: Putting your cards on the table
With Whose Money? A strategic apology for an unclear boundary with a son seeking women's clothing on his parents' dime
Tired of Pretending I Don't See: Naming a teen's double life and ending the cycle of following one step behind
An Attempt at Closeness With Dad: Reframing a young boy’s longing for his trans-identified father
I Read Your Journal: Owning a privacy breach while empathizing with the content
Somehow This is My Problem: Refusing to be the go-between for an adult daughter
What I Can Honestly Offer: Naming the double bind in an estranged adult daughter’s ultimatum
No Pressure, No Expectation: Supporting the sibling caught in the middle
Confronting the Runaway Plan: Giving rope to a teen with a secret plan to leave at 18
My Help is Making You Weaker: A strategic apology for enabling phobic behavior and the OCD cycle of dysphoria
The Person You've Yet to Become: Starting high school as your birth name
You Absolutely Are Worthy of Love: Altercasting an adult daughter’s first good relationship
That's Probably My Fault: Radical responsibility when certainty keeps ending the conversation
My Help is Making You Weaker: A strategic apology for enabling phobic behavior and the OCD cycle of dysphoria
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