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ROGD Repair
Bonus Articles - including many free to the public!
Welcome to the bonus articles! Written based on my work helping parents like you.
Life Paths and the Branching Tree
Why Your Child Can't "Just Stop Thinking About It": Understanding Neural Valleys and Gender Obsession (X) (0:09)
The Marriage Problem Nobody Talks About: Why Your Marital Conflict Is Fueling Your Child's Gender Ideology
Vagal Tone & Nervous System Regulation: Why Your Calmness (or Panic) Is More Powerful Than Your Words
The Affirmation Paradox: Why Your Child Resents Non-Affirmation While Losing Respect for Those Who Affirm
Getting Ahead of the Behavior: Why Staying Silent About What You See Is More Dangerous Than Speaking Up
Triangulation & Splitting: How Your Child Compartmentalizes Relationships to Avoid Integrating Reality (X) (7:37)
Naming the Aggression: Why Your Child's Hostility Matters and How It Differs Between Boys and Girls (X)
Moral Masochism & Learned Helplessness: Why Your Child Self-Sabotages and Gets Stuck in Victimhood (X) (7:00)
Power Dynamics: Why Your Child Shouldn't Be in Control and How to Reclaim Your Family's Emotional Leadership
Cluster B Personality Traits, Emotional Abuse & Power Play Dynamics in Adolescents
Father-Son Relationship Rupture & Repair: When Gender Dysphoria Masks the Real Problem
Understanding Identity Patterns in Gender-Questioning Youth: What Parents Are Observing
They're Listening (Even When It Seems Like They're Not)
Just Sit in the Room: Why Your Presence Matters More Than Your Instructions
Steering Without Commanding: The If-Then Framework for Stubborn Teens
She Doesn't Want to Be Trans—She Wants to Be a Boy: Understanding the Difference
When Hollywood Gets It Right: Strategic Apologizing and Boundary-Setting in Action (X) (1:56)
The Reality Principle: Why Meeting Gender Ideology Halfway Doesn't Work (X)
Triangulate the Cat: When Direct Connection Isn't Possible, Connect Through a Third Object (X)
Seen But Not Scrutinized: The Paradox Every Parent of a Teenager Needs to Understand (X)
The Load-Bearing Delusion: What Your Child's Trans Identity Is Protecting Them From (X/Substack)
Cognitive Dissonance as Magma: Why You Shouldn't Cause the Earthquake
College as a Crossroads: Strategic Thinking About the Most Dangerous Transition Point
When Your Sensitive Child Can't Sleep: A Practical Guide to Chronic Insomnia (X)
After the Self-Harm Scare: How to Stop Walking on Eggshells
Protecting the Sibling: How to Support a Younger Child When Their Older Sibling Has Transitioned
The Disenfranchised Dad: When a Father's Love Gets Lost in Translation (X)
Executive Functioning as a Doorway: How Practical Coaching Builds Connection and Confidence
Planting Seeds, Not Winning Arguments
The Rubber Duck Method: When Listening Is More Powerful Than Arguing
"You Take It to Mean That I Don't Respect You": The Language of Double Differentiation
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Your Daughter
When Helping Hurts: The Single Mom's Blind Spot in Raising Boys
When Self-Expression is Antithetical to the Goal: A Wake-Up Call
When Your Kid Says They Don't Intend to Medicalize
"Yes, And" — The Most Dangerous Moment in the Conversation
NEW! Guided Meditations
Introduction to Guided Meditations
Finding Your Ground: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #1
The Long Game: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #2
The Peaceful Warrior: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #3
After the Storm: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #4
Orientation for New Students
(PUBLIC PREVIEW) Introducing ROGD Repair: a New, Game-Changing Resource for Concerned Parents of Trans-Identified Youth (75:58)
Why join ROGD Repair? The value of a proactive approach (Public Preview) (14:14)
ENROLLED STUDENTS START HERE: Welcome & Orientation (please do not skip) (11:46)
Disclaimer, Privacy Policy & Copyright
How This Course Came To Be (34:08)
Philosophy and Approach (14:09)
Before We Go On: Let's Take Privacy Seriously
First: Let's Address Your Fears About Suicide & Self-Harm
Introduction to this section
Addressing Suicide Risk Responsibly (24:03)
Make Sure Self-Injury is Against the Rules in Your Home (3:27)
General Attitudes, Habits & Mindset Shifts to Adopt as You Go Through This Course
Introduction to General Attitudes, Habits & Mindset Shifts (2:19)
Give Up Wishful Thinking; This Won't Go Away On Its Own (4:11)
Realign with Your Core Values to Find Strength & Guidance (3:04)
Marathon Mindset: Being In It For the Long Haul (2:14)
The Importance of Slowing Down; Attuning to Recognize Opportunities (2:13)
Lifestyle Changes: A Brief Overview of Adjustments to Make (7:48)
Adopt a Posture of Non-Defensiveness to Soothe, De-Escalate, and Model Healthy Interactions (3:38)
Carry Yourself with Dignity Through Assertive Self-Respect (0:41)
Remember You Are the Adult (2:26)
Think Symbolically; Find Helpful Analogies (6:53)
Take the Next Step in the Dance (5:22)
Be Willing to Self-Reflect on Blind Spots and Shadows (2:29)
Model and Reflect on Matters of Grace and Forgiveness (5:53)
Stop Desperately Attempting to Persuade (2:55)
Refrain from Bribing, Bargaining & Coercing (6:48)
Avoid Long, Unreciprocated Texts and Emails (1:52)
Stop Losing Control of Your Emotions and Behavior (3:25)
Be Wary of Trusting the Wrong People & Making Yourself a Target (4:38)
When it Comes to Faith: Show, Don't Tell (2:40)
Embrace Nuance to Allow for Hope (2:41)
Don't Over-Give, Enable Bad Behavior, or Tolerate Abuse (3:59)
Get Your Priorities Straight (4:21)
Be Circumspect With Regard to Your Own Activism (5:30)
Assess Your Leverage & Tailor Interventions Accordingly (9:05)
Quick Interlude to Check In
How's the Course So Far?
Working with Stephanie 1:1 — everything you need to know
RepairBot is here! Get help when you need it, 24/7.
The Trifecta of Social Contagion
Introduction to the Trifecta (0:22)
Introduction to Woke Beliefs About Social Justice (17:55)
Mapping Your Child: The Trifecta + What = Perfect Storm? (5:31)
Relevant Psychological Concepts Affecting Your Family
Introduction to Psychological Concepts Section (0:43)
Double Binds: When You're Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place (4:47)
Neuroplasticity, Addiction, and Obsessive-Compulsive Patterns (15:02)
Is Gender Dysphoria Ego-Syntonic or Ego-Dystonic? (7:58)
Cognitive Dissonance: Conflicting Beliefs Pervade Gender Ideology (11:57)
Secondary Gain: the Hidden Benefits of Suffering (4:10)
Adopting the Language of Parts (4:18)
The Sunk Cost Fallacy: Why We Continue When Our Behaviors Don't Pay Off (6:38)
The Hot-Cold Empathy Gap: Why We're Terrible at Predicting Our Future Responses (7:53)
Identity, Confidence, and Competence: the Crux of What Your Child Truly Needs (5:40)
The Default Mode Network vs. Task Positive Network; Impacts on Depression & Anxiety (7:15)
The Paradox of Choice: The Illusion that More Options = More Happiness (7:49)
Psychological Differentiation: An Often Missing Skill in Immature Youth (7:55)
Extinction Bursts vs. Intermittent Rewards in Behavioral Psychology (3:03)
Dissociation: Your Child's Mind-Body Disconnect (13:13)
Code-Switching: How We Navigate Different Social Environments (9:24)
Preference Falsification, The Emperor's New Clothes, and Drag Queens (9:15)
Hypersensitivity to Embarrassment & Scrutiny in Adolescents & Young Adults (20:29)
Twice-Exceptional Youth & the Lopsided Brain; Scaffolding Skills in Autistic Youth (25:04)
Empathy vs. Theory of Mind, featuring: Mentalizing (14:25)
One More Warning About Trusting Unverified Professionals (3:58)
Your Kid's Vulnerability Hangover (2:52)
Moral Foundations Theory & Nonviolent Communication (17:08)
Social and Identity Capital; "Party Tricks" as Building Blocks (28:09)
Understanding & Dealing with Cluster B Personality Disorder Type Traits & Behaviors
Cluster B Personality Traits & Behaviors: A Brief Introduction & Overview (7:42)
Get Out of the F.O.G. of Emotional Blackmail (10:52)
Grandiosity: A Feature of Narcissism, or Just Immaturity? (5:00)
Projection: When Your Child's Emotions are Now Yours (8:28)
Depressed/Depleted Narcissism: Woe Is Me (6:51)
The Drama Triangle: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer (3:44)
A Funhouse Mirror Warning: When Both Sides Point the Narcissist Finger (3:32)
Entitlement, Resentment, "Narcissist Math" & the Woke Robinhood Mentality (28:33)
Communication 101: Asserting Boundaries
Introduction to this section
Boundaries and Consequences: An Overview (8:53)
Healthy Boundaries & Consequences, the Customer Service Attitude, & Being Life's Messenger (12:31)
Distinguish Between Your Boundaries and Your Opinions (6:13)
Front-Load Disappointing News to Reduce Anxiety (2:28)
Set Boundaries Using the Broken Record Technique (7:52)
Strategic Apologizing: A Helpful Tool for Delivering Hard News (5:42)
Absorb the Blows Preemptively: Conduct an Accusation Audit (10:56)
Playful Assertion to Protect the Quality of Interactions (3:56)
Financial Boundaries 1: Redirecting Savings for Future Medical Needs (9:06)
Communication 102: Effective Strategies and Approaches
Introduction to Communication Strategies Section (1:15)
Introduction to Strategic Thinking: Beginning with the End in Mind (7:28)
Nonverbal Communication and Your Nervous System (11:46)
Restoring Natural Spontaneity to Communication (1:46)
Working With the Ego: Alter-Casting + Playing Dumb (16:26)
Reflective Listening & Empathic Guesses: Therapeutic Communication to Reduce Defensiveness (4:30)
Curiosity Without Agreement; Reflective Listening with Differentiation (2:31)
Changing the Pattern: When All You Can Control is Your Own Predictability (10:54)
Dropping Defensiveness, Fessing Up: "You Caught Me" (2:56)
Resist the Urge to Over-Share; Make Them Ask for Information Instead (2:44)
Make "NO" Work for You: Use No-Oriented Questions (3:26)
Pose Moral Dilemmas and Invite Critical Thinking (7:58)
Near-Future Pain and Embarrassment Are More Palpable to Teens Than Long Term Problems (6:14)
Use Accurate Language; Avoid Cliches (2:15)
Leave Reading Material Lying Around So Kids Can Peruse Un-Self-Consciously (2:49)
Use "What" and "How" Questions, Rather Than "Why" (2:25)
Emphasize Near-Term Pain and Embarrassment Over Long Term Medical Consequences (4:53)
De-Personalize It: Invite Opinions on What Others Should Do (4:21)
Playfulness & Self-Effacing Humor (6:36)
Set Aside Talk of Detransitioners; Express Concern for Trans People Instead (3:49)
A Different Way to Speak About Detransitioners (5:59)
Say "You're Right" Early and Often (2:35)
Statements to Buy Yourself Time + Circle Back (13:55)
A Strategy for Handling Projection: Inverting "The Work" of Byron Katie (18:25)
Female-Specific Issues
Your Daughter's Menstrual Cycle: Every Phase & Why It Matters (51:19)
Menopause, Menarche, and Female Role Models (16:42)
Male-Specific Issues
Aggression in Males (16:12)
Autogynephilia as a Safety Blanket (18:37)
Gaining Further Insight Into Your Child and What You Can Do
Introduction to Further Insights Section (0:26)
Detecting Hidden Signs of Ambivalence & Doubt (8:53)
What's in a Name? (4:36)
Bad Things Won't Happen to My Friends (6:13)
The Right Side of History (5:41)
Building Your Child's Healthy Self-Esteem (8:20)
Gameable Heuristics: When Mental Shortcuts Create Exploitable Loopholes (11:04)
Differences in Worldviews Between Youthful Progressives & Mature Moderates (18:06)
Secrets Policies and Parental/Familial Triangulation (13:37)
The Writing on the Wall: Threat of Estrangement; Getting Ahead vs. Behind Where They're Going (13:22)
Don't Burst Their Bubble; Try to Understand the Bubble (11:28)
Is There Hope? Ways of Orienting to Questions of Optimism, Effort, and Despair (25:15)
Comfort and Challenge: The Paradoxical Relationship (18:56)
Is "Gender-Nonconforming" Actually the Best Way to Describe Your Child? (5:56)
Inhibition vs. Disinhibition, Neuroplasticity & Flow States (23:20)
Dissociation vs. Embodiment, Featuring: Proprioception (18:58)
Time Horizons & Empathy for Our Future Self (17:48)
Holistic Therapeutics: Float Tanks & Hot/Cold Therapies (22:23)
Trump's Executive Orders: Applying the Tools to How You Communicate. Plus: Why Switch to Group Chats (34:55)
Implementing a Digital Sabbath & Drawing Your Kid Out of Their Room (24:39)
Conduct a Premortem: Learn to Prevent Your Worst-Case Scenario (6:12)
Natural communication has a back-and-forth, serve-and-return rhythm (2:34)
Ages and Stages: The Developmental Map Every ROGD Parent Needs (27:12)
Examining Myths Embedded in Gender Ideology
Trans Exceptionalism: The Myth of a Special Kind of Human (5:38)
The Myth of Mind-Body Separation (2:54)
The Myth That Trans People Definitely Won't Want Children (4:18)
Stories and Examples
Introduction to Stories and Examples
Desistance Story 1: Jared's Daughter Sally
Desistance Story 2: Carl and Ellen's Son Eric
Desistance Story 3: Alice's Son Ethan
Bonus Videos
Shoot Your Shot — But Don't Screw It Up: Tips for Estranged Parents and Tenuous Relationships (19:53)
Therapists: Guilty Until Proven Innocent? (3:58)
Bonus Content from Maia Poet, Desister
Introduction: Meet Maia (57:20)
Closing Remarks
A List of Topics to Come
Closing Remarks (14:26)
"Yes, And" — The Most Dangerous Moment in the Conversation
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